There's no easy way to cope when someone you love dies. Time is the most essential of all healers here. However, having just lost a close family member a few weeks ago, I can also share that flower essences can be a valuable support in your time of need. Here's a quick summary of the flower essences that have been most beneficial to me during the grieving process.
Shock Absorber™ helps ground and settle you
When my stepdad died unexpectedly I felt like I'd suddenly landed on another planet in which everything was surreal. During the initial hours and days after his death, Shock Absorber™ helped me to stay grounded and centred.
It certainly didn't take away my sadness (and nor would I have wanted it to), but its help meant that I stayed grounded, put one foot in front of the other and was able to do what needed to be done.
The ritual of working with Shock Absorber™ also helped me to recognise when it was time to rest, when it was time to ask for help, and when it was time to just sit down and have a good cry.
In times of intense shock and trauma, Shock Absorber™ can be taken as frequently as needed, seven drops under the tongue.
I think at one point a few weeks ago I was probably taking it six or seven times a day and I felt all the better for doing that.
The frequency with which I'm using it has progressively decreased since then as I've re-oriented myself to a new world, but I’m still taking it a couple of times a day to help me integrate what’s happened and I suspect that I'll feel drawn to do so for quite a while yet.
Regardless of whether if something has had a major unsettling impact on you recently or in the distant past, consider Shock Absorber™ your go-to flower essence - I hope you find it as beneficial as I have over the last few weeks.
Dragon Slayer™ helps you find your inner strength
It's a cruel irony that at a time when you’re feeling at your most vulnerable and traumatised there are still things that need to be done in order for life to move ahead. In my case, there was a large funeral to organise and all of the attending to-do list that goes with it - from flowers to music to cars… the list seemed to go on and on.
Dragon Slayer™ was the flower essence that helped me draw on my inner strength and persevere when the going got tough. In the past, I've always used it when I've faced big deadlines or difficult decisions requiring persistence, determination and fortitude. Using it in the context of dealing with grief was a new concept for me and I am enormously grateful that I was guided to take it, because it was the difference between feeling completely overwhelmed and managing to hold things together.
Go with the Flow™ helps you trust in the universe again
It's easy to think that the universe is a benevolent place when everything is going well, but when somebody close to you dies, it’s not uncommon for feelings of unfairness and self-pity to bubble up.
Go with the Flow™ has helped me to trust that everything happens at the right time for the right reasons and to get back to my usual belief that everything is unfolding as it should, even if I would have chosen a different outcome myself.
In summary, Go with the Flow™ is a lovely flower essence to work with when you’re needing some support to help you trust in divine order again.
Baggage Buster™ helps release negative energy and clear out the past
Dealing with someone’s possessions after they’ve died can be an emotional process, not least because there are so many memories and associations left behind in physical things.
Energetic residues can also accumulate in the space where they’ve been sick or where others have been grieving. When the energy at home got really intense and was weighing us down I took to spraying Baggage Buster™ Mist around the place to help lighten the air and allow us to release any aspects of our experience that we didn't need to hold onto.
This is another one of those little rituals that I suspect that I'll be doing for a while over the next few months, and I'm also taking Baggage Buster™ flower essence at the same time to help me release the energy of the past. Both are doing me the world of good.
Moment in Time™ helps you be present here and now
The days and weeks after somebody dies are naturally filled with memories and stories of things that have happened in the past, but it's important to realise that even if someone else has moved on, YOU are still here, and the healthiest approach you can take is to be fully present and to live in the moment.
If you're feeling like stuck wishing that things were different and keeping one foot in the past. The ritual of taking Moment in Time™ might just support you in moving forward in a healthy way.
It's made from the Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow plant, which flowers with beautiful purple blooms, each of which, progressively fades to lavender or mauve, and then white before dying off.
These flowers always act as a gentle reminder to me that there are moments in life for everything, and each of them is as joyful and beautiful and worthy of respect as any other.
This little-known flower essence has been of huge benefit to us here at Tribe HQ and we can't recommend it highly enough, especially if you're going through a time of looking at the past with feelings of guilt or regret.
Up, Up & Away™ reminds you to look after yourself
Finally, during times of extreme stress like a family loss, it's easy to put all your energies into looking after other people and neglect your own well-being.
The ritual of working with Up, Up & Away™ is a great way to look after yourself while also honouring those around you. It’s on a mission to remind you to listen to your body, your heart and your mind, get clear about what's important for your wellbeing, and then to take action on it.
Often one of those steps is to maintain healthy boundaries, which means that it may be exactly what you need if you're feeling pulled in all directions by other people or if your grief has led to you neglecting basic self-care practices like eating and sleeping.
This flower essence can be particularly valuable for those who are highly empathic because taking on the energy of others who are suffering can be a heavy load, and despite being an act of love, is not necessarily in your best interests.
If you're reading this blog because you've recently lost someone or are struggling to deal with a loss from the past, our hearts go out to you. I hope that these flower essences can be as supportive to you and your family as they have been to me and mine in the last few weeks. Please feel free to contact us if you'd like any help deciding which of these flower essences is right for you.
Are you confused about when to take flower essences? Don't worry - you're not alone! Here at Tribe of the Tree™ people are always asking us, 'When is it the right time to take flower essences?' - so, we've put this handy guide together outlining a dozen of the most popular reasons people take them, complete with plenty [...]
At this time of year, we always receive lots of questions about which flower essences are best for helping to ease the transition for kids starting school for the first time, or heading back after the holidays. With so many flower essences to choose from, many mums and dads find it tricky to know which remedies are right for their [...]